I’m in the middle of Blogs With Balls, but I had to get this out before anything else. It’s the intro for the conference, produced by the indefatigable Bill Saylor, aka Slickbomb, and friends. And enjoy this sneak peek at original daddy Matt Ufford passed out in Prospect Park. Nice boxers, big boy. Thanks, John, for the link.

Sir Charles Barkley is an eleven-time NBA All-Star and a member of the original Dream Team, but he was never really a fitness role model. He’s also 48 years old and spent the last half a decade rocking the Five Buck Box, so react with only mild surprise when you see him looking turrble in his first week of CrossFit. I’d struggle with it too, especially if Ludacris was screaming GET BACK MOTHERF**KER at me while I cleaned and jerked. Maybe I just don’t have what it takes to be a member of Team COCKDIESEL.

Our own Matt Ufford is a CrossFit veteran, so I asked him what he thought of the video. His two cents:

I almost feel bad making fun of Barkley — this was apparently filmed during his first week of CrossFit, a time when a lot of the exercises are unfamiliar and uncomfortable (note: I’m endlessly thankful and relieved that my first week of CrossFit wasn’t filmed). Check out his cleans compared to everyone else’s: he doesn’t have the wrist flexibility to rest the bar on his shoulders.

We can laugh now, but if Sir Charles sticks with it, he’s going to look a hell of a lot better in six months.

Now to find that hilarious video of Detlef Schrempf doing P90X.

With Leather’s founding editor Matt Ufford attended the CrossFit Games in Carson, California last weekend. This is his report.

If you’ve never heard of CrossFit, the simplest description for it is “fitness cult.” As with most cults, there are gurus, a particular style of dress for its members, and a separate vocabulary that can take weeks or even months to learn. Notably — as with most cults — gurus and followers alike shy away from the word “cult.” But there’s one important difference between CrossFit and Scientology or Jonestown or the Movementarians: obeying CrossFit’s religion of short but intense workouts produces undeniable results.

Nowhere is that more obvious than the CrossFit Games, the fledgling sport’s annual competition to determine the fittest of the fit. The devotion of the faithful is on display everywhere: in the competing athletes, in the muscular bodies of the crowd, in the companies hawking fitness wear and protein drinks, in the food trucks selling snacks compatible with the paleo diet. Even as someone who works out at a CrossFit gym*, I felt out of place with my average build and torn pectoral muscle and general unwillingness to take off my shirt amidst a sea of physical perfection.

On the following pages is a photo essay of the Games, with my commentary peppered in. The professional-looking images are courtesy of CrossFit; the crappier candids were taken on my iPhone.

*My trip was sponsored by Sportsgrants, a non-profit organization that runs Fight Gone Bad, a charity I raised nearly $24,000 for last year by humiliating myself.

People in Green Man costumes and cute chicks in sports bras. This is a brilliant way to advertise. (NOTE: I have no idea what product they’re advertising.)

This guy’s Marine Corps tattoo has a Marine Corps tattoo. We have to go deeper!

I wanted this company to have brackets in its name, because I’d definitely buy a shirt from [sic] Fit.

Two of the best-represented gyms at the Games were San Diego’s CrossFit Invictus (in green) and Brick CrossFit of LA (orange). Their passionate cheering blocks made the Games feel more like a real sporting event and less like watching random people work out.

Navy SEAL Bridges — from CrossFit Invictus — finished second overall, and provided what may have been the Games’ most exciting moment with his dizzying come-from-behind clamber through the “Killer Cage” to win Event 6 in Saturday’s final heat.

Invictus had a Navy SEAL finish second in the men’s competition. LA’s Brick has incredibly attractive people. Winner: BRICK.

It’s pictures like this that make me feel terrible about myself. I’m five-ten and about 165, and I’ve huffed and puffed my way through 90-pound sled workouts. Here, Bridges (5’5″, 160 pounds) pushes 385 pounds on the sled. That may be why my Fight Gone Bad score is in the 230s and his is 485.

Here’s a look at the “Killer Cage” that left a lot of palms bleeding on Saturday afternoon. What was essentially a massive jungle gym crippled some of the most fearsome competitors, tearing open the athletes’ calluses after the metal bars sat out in the hot sun all day. (Ben Stoneberg finished 20th overall.)

The emcee for the Games was Travis Bagent, a bombastic 275-pound human being who also happens to be one of the best arm wrestlers in the world. In between events, Bagent arm-wrestled the largest, strongest men in the audience — and crushed each of them right-handed within seconds. Bagent is left-handed.

Without a doubt the coolest dude at the Games (and the image that Brandon would have led with if he were writing this article). This guy’s (very hot and fit) girlfriend was mortified at his popularity.

The vast array of fitness sponsors and vendors was the primary location for people-watching. Every other tent seemed to have some sort of fitness challenge to offer — dead-hang pull-ups, 250-meter row, jump rope double-unders, tire-flipping, and more. (And before I get accused of snapping ass pictures of strangers, the Lycra short-shorts and sports bra combination was standard wear for hundreds of women in attendance. It was hard to take a picture and NOT get something like that in the frame.)

Once you get over the physique of Finland’s Vainio (19th overall), take a look at the shoulders of everyone in the audience behind him. Not exactly the same crowd you’d see at a Bears game.

Judges are chosen, I assume, for their unforgiving precision and capacity for cruelty. I saw one judge negate at least ten, maybe 15 reps of one of the male competitors who was favored in the Masters Division (that’s what CrossFit calls old people). The judges’ uniform was that ubiquitous yellow T-shirt and shorts however damn short they wanted.

Pictured: 2008 champion Jason Khalipa (7th overall this year) and last year’s champion Graham Holmberg (4th overall). Khalipa is an absolute MONSTER. I can’t believe he’s wearing a shirt. If I looked like him, I’d only wear a shirt to enter restaurants.

Hey everybody! check out Lindsey Smith’s snatch! … what? She’s getting the weight overhead in the snatch lift. Why’s everybody laughing? (Smith finished 16th overall in the women’s division.)

As mentioned earlier, CrossFit Masters is the polite term for “seniors division.” But it seems like a fair euphemism, since the seniors look like this.

Here’s Michelle Kinney (17th overall) — also featured in this article’s first image — doing a weighted pull-up with 35 pounds strapped to her waist. If you want an embarrassing comparison, I’m a combat-tested Marine, and my best weighted pull-up is 28 pounds (with a torn pec, but still).

Oh, hey Blair Morrison! I was just feeling bad about a woman doing a pull-up with 35 pounds of added weight. Thanks for doing it with 100 pounds. (Morrison finished 5th overall.)

Schrader only finished 14th overall. What a pussy.

I didn’t write this dude’s name down, but he was jacked as hell and only finished 4th or 5th in his heat in Event 6 on Saturday. But he still wins first place in the Extra Ab Muscles Competition.

The Killer Cage crushed the will of some of the Games’ strongest athletes, and this bitch is SMILING while getting through it. (Leblanc-Bazinet finished 8th.)

Froning was the runner-up in 2010, and ascended to the title of “Fittest on Earth” thanks to an astoundingly strong and even performance across ten events in three days. (Note: I’m usually sore for 2-3 days after a single CrossFit workout.)

Tovar only finished 37th, but she snatched 135 pounds — and my heart. Marry me, Stacie, and wash my clothes on your stomach.

With shade at a premium, athletes napped between events. As for the bloggers in attendance? Left to rot in the sun, suffer from jet lag, and complete this photo essay two days after it should have been done. Life’s a bitch.

For more on the CrossFit Games, watch a video of champions Rich Froning and Annie Thorisdottir here. Write-up here. Team results here — CrossFit New England took first place, because OW-AH CROSSFITTAHS AH FITTAH THAN YOWAH CROSSFITTAHS.

This one should actually be on the list.

Links

Your Nostalgia Is Killing You: The 30 Worst TV Theme Songs of All Time - I’m going to start off with two list posts that put me at odds with the people I write with at Uproxx. This isn’t “worst theme songs”, it’s any theme song you can remember, and half of them are awesome. [UPROXX]

The 8 Most Nauseating Disney Channel Shows of All Time - The second list is from Jason, a person I don’t know, who sh*t-talks The Suite Life of Zack and Cody AND, AND Dumbo’s Circus. Talk bad about Dumbo’s Circus again and I will literally kill you. [Warming Glow]

Planned Parenthood: 5 Jay-Z Songs About Becoming a Dad - I hope 99 Problems gets rewritten to suggest that a bitch IS one of his problems. [Smoking Section]

7 Monstrous Cthulhu Tattoos: The Evil Being Awakens Human Skin - People will get anything tattooed on them. I want to get the volcano from the old Dianetics commercial. [Gamma Squad]

The Internet Responds to Hurricane Irene with Typical Class and Grace - Slightly less disrespectful than running around with your middle fingers in the air while a reporter tells you to stay inside. [UPROXX]

Mila Kunis Loves World of Warcraft - No she doesn’t. Don’t buy this. Olivia Munn doesn’t like video games either. Morgan Webb likes video games because she liked them before she was supposed to. [Gamma Squad]

Never Nude for a Good Cause - The most important link on this list. Donate money, if you can. I’m going to donate money as soon as I start getting paid. [Warming Glow]

George Lucas’s Daughter Beats Up a Japanese Chick - Additionally, George Lucas has been beating the sh*t out of the rest of us since like 1995. [Film Drunk]

T.I. Reportedly to Be Released from Prison on Wednesday - You know it ain’t nothin’ for him to drop a couple stacks on you. Stacks of what, I’m not sure. [Smoking Section]

Matthew Fox Punched a Lady in the Crotch - Suddenly 10 million Chris Brown fans put “Lost” on their Netflix queue. [FARK]

5 Petty Acts That Somehow Violated NCAA Rules - I hope “attempting to demonize deacons” is on here somewhere. Also, “tarring one’s heels”. [The Smoking Jacket]

When Did America Develop Better Taste in Movies Than the Rest of the World? - When we stopped assuming “what people watch a lot” meant “what people like”. I’ve seen two of three Transformers movies in the theater, but they didn’t taste good. [Moviefone]

7 Bizarre Ancient Contraception Techniques - Number eight: Having Brandon’s 7th grade haircut. [Buzzfeed]

The 5 People and Things on Network TV I Miss the Most Right Now - 1. Freaks and Geeks, 2. Paramore music videos, 3. The Bozo Show with the proper Bozo from my childhood, 4. Cookie from the Bozo Show, 5. Cuddly Dudley. [Pajiba]

Just kidding. For a header, here is an awesome rap video.

Links

So Long and Thanks for All the Puppies - Matt Ufford is leaving Warming Glow, so I wanted to take a moment on this sports comedy blog he created to thank him for everything. Him going “hey, you should let this guy write” is the only reason I’m a part of the UPROXX family, and I’ll never forget that. P.S. you really should’ve put me in charge of Warming Glow, because I mean seriously [Warming Glow]

10 of the Greatest Comic Book Video Games - The list goes 1. Arkham Asylum, 2. Arkham City, 3. Captain America And The Avengers in the arcade, 4. that one Spider-Man game for the Sega CD with the Mr. Big soundtrack, 5. All Others. [Gamma Squad]

Crossface Chickenwing Rhymes: 7 Hip-Hop Lines About Bob Backlund - The best post in the history of the Smoking Section. DON’T EXACERBATE ME! [Smoking Section]

The Best Of #April Ludgate - If Annie Edison didn’t exist, she’d be my TV girlfriend. “Oh sorry guys, sorry I’m late. I got confused and took a shower after I got dressed ’cause I’m Jerry.” [UPROXX]

That Time Nic Cage Was On The Cover Of A Serbian Biology Textbook - Why does he keep randomly showing up places? He was on one of the rides at the Texas State Fair, too. Is he the Black Racer? Am I going to die? [Film Drunk]

Meme Watch: Hippo Coworker Is On The Other Side Of Your Cubicle Wall - You get that thing I sent you? [UPROXX]

7 Popular Songs That Are Too Rapey - “Hello” shouldn’t be on here, but “E.T.” by Katy Perry should. I feel weird when the little girl playing Just Dance at the Best Buy is shaking a Wiimote to “ready for abduction”. [Buzzfeed]

“Where Are The Great Movies?” Asks The Director Of Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull - Terrible journalism that makes up a headline and nobody reads the body. He didn’t say there are no good movies, he said he’d rather watch older films because they’re more romanticized. Jesus, reading comprehension, everybody. [FARK]

The Original Ending to ‘The Muppets’ Was Much Better - I’d like to think the |Moviefone|

‘Community’ Wins TV Guide Magazine Fan Favorite Poll - Too bad it can’t win any “fans watching television” contests. [AOL TV]

Brace Yourself, You’re About To Like Tyler Perry - Not even clicking this. I don’t want to live in a world where I have a three dimensional view of Tyler Perry, I just want to think of him as Ma Dukes from ‘The Boondocks’. [Pajiba]

A Collection of Masked Movie Posters - The Saw poster sorta looks like a Stormtrooper. I don’t know, all these minimalist things are making me love busy-ass posters. [Unreality]

Wear this medal with honor, I shall.

You probably know Matt Ufford* (pictured above, left) as the former editor of Warming Glow and the originator of Corgi Friday**, but did you know he’s also making it his mission to get sports blog SB Nation to pay him to pet dogs all day? He’s succeeding to some extent, with coverage of dog football, his Westminster Dog Show petting challenge, and now his trip to The Brooklyn Mutt Show 2012, where he also judged the Star Wars and Star Trek dog costume contest.

The Brooklyn Mutt Show was founded in 2010 as a light-hearted response to the more serious shows limited to purebred dogs. Held in the Brooklyn Lyceum, a bath house-turned-art space at the edge of the dog-crazy Park Slope neighborhood, the Mutt Show’s various contests include Best Tail, Best Beard, Most Like Owner, and Best Kisser, and the entry fees benefit animal-friendly charities: Sean Casey Animal Rescue and the Wild Bird Fund. But let’s get to the crux of the matter: dogs in Star Wars and Star Trek costumes. [BRING BACK MATT!]

Indeed. Matt’s video from the show is after the break along with over 30 pictures of dogs dressed as Star Wars and Star Trek characters. The first two pictures are from the show, and the rest were selected from our extensive collection.

* BRING BACK MATT!

** I accidentally spelled Corgi as Corgit, and now I want to invent an app called Corgit which automatically adds Corgi pictures to all .pdf documents.

Counselor Troi! Pants suit! EEEEEE! [via]

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WAMPUG! (Video and more pictures here.)

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Some photoshopping involved but I don’t care. [via]

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Darth Pug, pleased to meet you. [via]

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Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

The haters said we’d never make it to 100 Frotcasts, but it looks like we showed them! For our 100th episode extravaganza, we brought back all your favorite guests, Matt Ufford from SB Nation, Justin Halpern whose new book, I Suck At Girls is on sale now (here’s an excerpt), Laremy Legel from Film.com, and of course Uproxx’s own utility power-bottom Burnsy. Enjoy, friends. And check after the jump for episode notes from Adam.

Subscribe to the Frotcast on iTunes (leave us a review!). Now you can stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android Device – find us on Stitcher! Email us at Frotcast@Gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030.

• 00:02:02 – This special episode kicks off with listener voicemails where the Frotcast crew gets reviewed, and The Dictator receives some porn parody titles. Vince plays Peter Berg’s interview with the Israeli reporter. The guys talk about the “one line” fix in movies, and Vince shares his thoughts about Rihanna.
• 00:12:55 – Matt Ufford is the first guest to talk about SB Nation and some of his highlights so far. He also answers Vince’s questions about movies and what male celebrity he would marry. Everyone shares stories about Vince’s dad. Vince reveals that one of his reviews is going to be published, and we find out from MANswers how to get drunk on grandpa.
• 00:30:41 – Up next is Justin Halpern, who is on tour for his book I Suck at Girls. An excerpt from his about the time he found a porn cache can be found at Grantland. Justin talks about what a book tour entails. The guys talk about Bum Combine, Olivia Munn’s book, and Wes Anderson’s new film, Moonrise Kingdom. And Vince wants to own a plantation [a hacienda! I misspoke! -Ed.].
• 00:56:06 – Burnsy is back to answer Vince’s questions, and can’t decide if The Avengers or The Vow is his favorite film of the year. This leads to the genesis of Hipster C-Tates. The guys find out what babes are best in the sack from MANswers. As always, Burnsy brings some Hott Goss news.
• 01:16:47 – Laremy closes the episode with a breakdown of Battleship with spoilers, because no one cares. The guys have some fun with a morning show clip featuring Laremy. With news that MTV bought Film.com, Laremy reads a list of possible job opportunities. A man’s best friend’s worst enemy seems like the popular choice. There’s some talk about sponsorships, Rudyard Kipling gets the conversation off topic, and the episode ends with a Kate Bosworth poop story.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

We’ve had a huge spike in our Frotcast downloads that started about a week ago. I don’t know exactly know where it came from, but welcome, new listeners, we’ll do our best to keep you. This week, we bloop in

Ufford adds:

A doctor I know got forwarded the buttchugging article, and he wrote: Reminds me of a patient who frequently went to an ER with bad urinary tract infections. He had been emptying his bladder, then using a catheter to fill his bladder with wine, and was performing as a ‘human wine dispenser’ at a bar. Nice.

Anyway, listen, love, laugh, share, and come to the Live Show in Chicago, Presented by Tall Tale Productions.

Subscribe on iTunes (PLEASE RATE THE PODCAST!). Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Justin on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Follow Laremy on Twitter. Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Fan us on Facebook.

Notes with time stamp below, courtesy of Adam. Skip 42 minutes through 1:10 if you’re trying to avoid Looper spoilers.

This week, we bring on Matt Ufford to talk about the world wide phenomenon known as butt chugging, discuss Looper, we read listener questions (mostly about relationships) and have a grand ol time. Drunk on!

We are coming to Chicago for a Live Frotcast! Check out our Kickstarter project and help us out.

• 00:00:00 – Things kick off with Party Enema by NOFX introducing some butt chugging talk. The guys bring up the thought of butt chugging being part of the Presidential campaign platform, and get into some debate talk. Brendan does some impressions, and the guys go over the names of the Romney children. We hear about Microphone Mike Michaelson getting pulled back into duty. The guys set up the clip of the butt chugging press conference which involves the stereotypical Southern lawyer. Vince tells a tale about the drinking prowess of an Irishman.
• 00:13:55 – Regular guest Matt Ufford joins the Frotcast for the playing of the butt chugging clip where the Southern lawyer repeatedly mentions “butt chugging.” Vince gets into the religious aspect of the story, and the guys question the state the accused was found in. Matt shares some fraternity stories from his time at Northwestern. They all come to the conclusion that the alleged “butt chugger” will become a legend within his fraternity.
• 00:41:50 – The guys get into reviewing Looper, but before that can happen Brendan wants to talk about the trailers shown before the film and Hollywood’s treatment of bullies. Bret declares “street law” by taking Ben to task for his taste in films. The guys get into the review with talk of future drugs, the distraction of making JGL look like Bruce Willis, and accepting a SciFi premise for what it is. Matt brings up Rian Johnson’s debut, Brick, and is not having any time-travel talk.
• 01:04:55 – SPOILER ALERT! Matt gets the ball rolling on the spoilers, there is something about Piper Perabo being topless, and Bret goes off on Ben.
• 01:10:10 – Vince imagines his director’s cut version by adding some more scenes for Emily Blunt…and a pie. Looper reminds Matt of Face/Off, and the guys were pretty impressed with JGL’s impression of Willis. Matt gets some questions from the listeners dealing with wives getting fatter, jerking off in the shitter on base, and whether to wait for a girl or go traveling. Somehow hymen restoration and tank jerk were brought up. The guys get asked a movie question about what movie they didn’t like but thought would be improved with a different actor.
• 01:35:22 - Ben has issues with the Cloud Atlas trailer, but Matt highly recommends the book and its author. Vince culminates his fantasy about Emily Blunt, and Vloggeraptor.

Sam Rockwell and Colin Farrell are both wearing Christopher Walken shirts. Your argument is invalid. [People.com via BrandonBird]

MORNING LINKS
Bill Murray calls Kelly Lynch’s husband every time he sees her sex scene in Roadhouse
|Film Drunk|

5 Albums Coming Out This Week That Don’t Suck |UPROXX|

Life Lessons We Learned From ‘The Twilight Zone’ |Warming Glow|

This is perhaps the best reaction to reading Fifty Shades of Grey. [via Humor Train]

Alex Rodriguez Is Still A Grade A Poon Hound |With Leather|

Parody Game ‘Dudebro’ Brings The Straight-Up Dawg Time |Gamma Squad|

A low down and dirty good time is upon us |theChive|

29 People Caught Reading “Fifty Shades Of Grey” In Public |Buzzfeed|

Hulk Hogan Sues Bubba The Love Sponge & Gawker For $100 Million Over Leaked Sex Tape |The Superficial|

6 Flight Attendants Gone Wild |Mental Floss|

The Empire PSYkes Back |Daily What|

Kate Upton In This Dress. That Is All. |IDLYITW|

Dear runners, stop that barefoot nonsense and put some shoes on. And guys: wear a shirt for god’s sake. Sincerely, Science. |Fark|

Operation Watch This: Test Footage From The Exorcist |Videogum|

Rabbi Writes Patronizing Letter To Sarah Silverman, Has His Ass Handed To Him By Her Dad |HuffPost Comedy|

After Tina Fey and Amy Poehler Host the Golden Globes Together, Here’s 5 Projects They Should Remake |Pajiba|

How to Use Taylor Swift Lyrics as Pick-Up Lines |Brobible|

The Parisian Trampoline Bridge |High Definite|

Mitt Romney Won’t Release His Spotify Playlist |College Humor|

NOMINATE for Comments of the Week. FOLLOW Vince on Twitter.
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And now, here’s Matt Ufford doing a video in his FilmDrunk shirt. A video dedicated to puns. It couldn’t be more apt. He knows “queef” is my all-time favorite word.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, we brought on Matt Ufford for a special, extended Thanksgiving drive-time episode. We actually hadn’t planned on it being extended when we started, but we were having such a good time keeping it rolling that we just kept on recording. Topics include:

• SB Nation’s Troll Tuesday, and the dangers of writing about the dangers of living ironically.

• The man who got arrested for pretending a taser was his penis.

• Steve-O’s karaoke show, and how it makes us think the world turning into Idiocracy might not be so bad after all

• Speaking of trolls, we have more clips of Bernie Goldberg’s epic trolling interview questions from HBO Real Sports

• The nature of book-to-movie adaptations, as it relates to World War Z, The Watchmen, Life of Pi

• The statutory Elmo drama

• Stories of the worst jobs we’ve ever had, and trying to decide whether to swallow all your dreams or live in poverty forever

• Our favorite Coen brothers movies and trying to explain the enduring popularity of The Big Lebowski

Check out the brand-new Frotcast.com to buy the Chicago Frotcast download ($1) or Ben’s limited-edition t-shirt featuring Bret’s squirrel painting.

Subscribe on iTunes (PLEASE RATE THE PODCAST!). My favorite review so far: “Of all the podcasts, this is the best. Take it from me, your old pal Hitler!”

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Matt on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Fan us on Facebook.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, your last Frotcast before Christmas, we brought Matt Ufford on down to talk about bad sportswriting and our favorite movies and stuff of 2012. I called it the Bests Uff 2012. Get it? Do you see what I did there? Anyway, Les Mis songs were sung about rat poop, the James Hetfield Soundboard was played with, films were argued over – such as Moonrise Kingdom and Magic Mike – and a good time was had by all. Frot on, and be excellent to each other.

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Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Matt on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, we’ve got Bret back, live from Manhattan and we bloop in SB Nation’s World Famous V-Logger Matt Ufford. Fun fact, Matt and I used to live together in a blog cabin in Brooklyn. This week’s topic, in honor of Sam Raimi making Oz the Great and Powerful, is the worst film of otherwise good directors. Oh yeah, we actually talked about movies in this one. And lots of other stuff too, including Matt’s favorite interviews. Enjoy.

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Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Matt Ufford on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook. Check out Frotcast.com.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

Sorry about the lag in posting, folks, had a little power outage over at FilmDrunk HQ. In any case, we have a very special episode for our landmark 150th Frotcast (our sesquipodtennial!). We bring on Laremy Legel from Film.com for our Fantasy Summer Box Office Draft (you can see our teams after the jump), Matt Ufford from SB Nation drops by to tell us about his Gary Busey encounter (an escaped circus bear with tinnitus, believe Matt described him), and finally, we play a spirited round of Can You Spell This Made-Up Utah Name.

Thanks to everyone who donated to the Kickstarter, I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m so very afraid. Check out Frotcast.com to sponsor the ‘cast or for even easier commenting.

Subscribe on iTunes (RATE THE PODCAST!). Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Check out the new Frotcast.com.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Follow Laremy on Twitter. Follow Matt on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook.

FANTASY SUMMER BOX OFFICE PICKS

Laremy (First overall pick)

1. Iron Man 3

2. Man of Steel (Bomb)

3. Epic

4. 300: Rise of an Empire

Vince (2nd pick):

1. 6 Fast 6 Furious

2. Pacific Rim

3. The Wolverine

4. We are the Millers (Bomb)

Bret (3rd pick)

1. Star Trek 2

2. Despicable Me 2

3. Lone Ranger (Bomb)

4. After Earth

Brendan (4th pick)

1. Man of Steel

2. Hangover 3

3. The Internship

4. The Great Gatsby (Bomb)

Ben (5th):

1. Monsters University

2. Planes

3. World War Z

4. World War Z (Bomb)

This year we’re doing the bomb pick slightly differently, so that instead of budget minus opening weekend, we’re doing 100 minus percentage of the budget earned in the opening weekend. So if a film has a $100 million budget and earns $30 million in its opening weekend, that would mean it earned 30 percent of its budget. 100 minus 30 equals 70, which would be your bomb pick score in that scenario.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week on the Frotcast, we bring in old friend Matt Ufford of SB Nation and the KSK sex and fantasy mailbag to talk mumblecore and answer your relationship questions. After that, we welcome comedian Sammy Obeid, who’s currently on day 950 of his quest to do 1000 consecutive days of comedy. He tells us all about getting punched by a drunk Irishman, doing comedy on the streets of Oakland, and eventual validation from Howard Stern on America’s Got Talent. Oh, and T-MINUS ONE WEEK UNTIL JUGGALO VISION QUEST. WOOP WOOP.

We read your questions, and in the process discover the great Tim Horton’s Pay-It-Forward Streak of 2013. You crazy Canadians.

For three full hours and 228 orders, a generous chain of Tim Hortons customers in Winnipeg picked up the tab for the people behind them.

It started at about 10 a.m. at the drive-through window at Tim Hortons on Beaverhill Blvd. in Winnipeg on Dec. 21. Light snow had been falling all morning, there were four shopping days until Christmas and the temperature was minus-13.5C.

“There was a lot of excitement inside the restaurant. Staff were shouting out numbers like, “It’s up to 147!” said Robichaud.

Eventually, someone who had their four coffees paid for decided to break the chain and pulled away without paying for the three coffees behind him.

“There were more guests in line,” said Robichaud. “Who knows what their motivation was?” [TheStar]

And of course, who could forget the Rhubarb Lady:

[Uproxx]

Check out FilmDrunk & Friends at Cobb’s in SF August 4th, with Joe King and host David Gborie!

Subscribe on iTunes (RATE THE PODCAST!). Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow me on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Follow Steven Feinartz and Eddie Pepitone on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

This week’s guest: SB Nation‘s Matt Ufford. This week’s game: Fantasy Oscar Draft.

Combining the beginning of Fall Movie Awards Season, fantasy football draft season, and the end of our Fantasy Summer Box Office Game, we created a new Fantasy Oscar game game for Fall. Here’s how it works:

We each pick two movies and one actor. For a movie pick, you get points for any Oscar awarded or nominated to your movie. For an actor pick, you get points for any acting award or for any best picture or director award for any movie your actor is in. A movie from outside of the fall season counts double. Points are awarded as follows:

Best Picture: 200 for a nomination, 200 more for a win.

Director: 150 for a nomination, 150 more for a win.

Actor/Actress: 100 for a nomination, 100 more for a win.

Supporting Actor/Actress: 75 for nomination, 75 more for a win.

Our picks are after the jump.

In addition to our Oscar’s game, we have a brief appearance by Fake Bret, Ben gives us a health update, a Weekly Clipdown featuring more corporate speak by The Pitch, and we answer your listener questions.

FANTASY OSCAR PICKS:

Matt:

George Clooney

American Hustle

Fruitvale Station

Bret:

12 Years a Slave

Matthew McConaughey

The Counselor

Ben:

Gravity

Saving Mr. Banks

Michael F. Assbender

Brendan:

The Butler

Wolf of Wall Street

Forest Whitaker

Vince:

Brad Pitt

Inside Llewyn Davis

Out of the Furnace

—

HOUSEKEEPING:

You can still buy the podcast we recorded at The Gathering here for a dollar. Support the Frot. #FROTSTRONG!

Subscribe on iTunes (RATE THE PODCAST!). Download the Stitcher App and stream the Frotcast to your iPhone or Android device. Support the Frot at Frotcast.com.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com. Voicemail us at 415.275.0030. Follow Vince on Twitter and Instagram. Follow Matt Ufford on Twitter. Follow Ben on Twitter. Follow Bret on Twitter. Fan us on Facebook.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as”)

This week on the Frotcast, the world’s best sort-of movie podcast, we’ve got SBNation’s Matt Ufford joining us via Skype. We start things off old school, with the latest poop transplant news, including the poop pill pioneering being done in Canada. We transition into a discussion of Kevin Connolly’s (E from Entourage) 30 for 30 episode. We get into our favorite TV shows of the week. Before long I introduce the rest of the Frot gang to our new obsession, the vegan hippie rap bros Chef Seth and Pa-Chow. They even inspire a new character, “The Pomegrandler,” the hippie vegan Whole Foods answer to The Hamburglar. We talk a little about Paul Walker and the anus of SEO, before finishing things off with The Listener Word Bucket, including your relationship questions about whether your lady should accept your porn watching and the etiquette of herpes dating. Enjoy. Tell your friends and all that sh*t.

PROBLEMS DOWNLOADING THE ‘CAST? I’ve had a couple people ask me about this. If you’re having trouble downloading from iTunes (over which I have no control, unfortunately), there are numerous other options.

• Podbean
• Frotcast.com (to be updated shortly)
• FilmDrunk

Enjoy! Email at us at frotcast@gmail.com. Write us some reviews, and send us links to them!

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right click, save as).

This week on the Frotcast, SB Nation’s Matt Ufford returns to glory in his Seahawks’ victory and his commanding lead in our Fantasy Oscar Draft game. Turns out, pinning my hopes on Inside Llewyn Davis was NOT a great move. (It was September, I couldn’t have known). We discuss the big game, all our favorite Sochi Olympics Fail Porn, how Matt, as a Marine veteran felt about all the military propaganda-esque Super Bowl commercials this year, and answer your questions about planning a bachelor party and cannibal ghost rats. Enjoy.

Frotcast.com should be back updated soon. In addition to FilmDrunk, you can always find the Frotcast at Filmdrunk.Podbean.com (even though Podbean sucks), and at Stitcher, where you can stream to your iPhone or Android device, no downloadin’ required (and they usually update pretty punctually).

Additionally, you can catch us on Mutiny Radio every Wednesday.

Thanks as always for your shares and reviews! Our only reward for this is more listeners and your voicemails and emails, so keep ‘em comin! frotcast@gmail.com, 415 275 0030. @automatikben, @MattUfford, @FilmDrunk, @PossumGraveyard.

I’m posting this here because I assume only Frotcast listeners will enjoy it, but I enjoyed it quite a bit. It’s a little montage Jeremy H created, featuring Willem Dafoe’s characters reimagined as Brendan’s bizarrely-specific impression of Willem Dafoe.

Listen on the player above, or download this week’s episode as an mp3 here (right-click, “save as.”)

FROTCAST 85: Matt Ufford stops by to talk dog shows, Ferris Bueller, and donkey jizz.

This week Matt Ufford returns to the Frotcast to talk about his new assignments, Moneyball, TV, read from Brendan’s bible, aka The History of Farts, recount mushroom adventures, and introduce a new segment called “What’s up with the Internet?”

• 00:05:30 – The guys discuss the conflict of stopping a thief, either it be a shoplifter or one who has snatched personal property. Clip: A German man tries to comprehend the term “party pooper.”
• 00:16:25 – Matt Ufford, formerly of Warming Glow and now the talent for SBNation, talks about some upcoming assignments such as the Westminster Dog Show and the US Curling Championships. Vince introduces “What’s up with the Internet?” with clips involving TMZ photographers, donkey semen, and cheesy potatoes. Blogger hygiene and sharting are brought up, as well as Vince’s Sam Rockwell sighting.
• 00:51:50 – Time for some TV talk with Matt where Justified and Sons of Anarchy get discussed. Vince has a hang-up with the mockumentary format of some current comedy shows, and rants about The Big Bang Theory.
• 01:06:00 – Vince and Matt disagree about Moneyball. Aaron Sorkin’s heavy handedness comes up comparing both Moneyball and Social Network, which leads to a discussion about MySpace. The guys talk about the Ferris Bueller Super Bowl commercial, and how nostalgia, commercialism, and the internet are ruining everything.
• 01:32:12 – Brendan reads a limerick from The History of Farts, and the guys play another koi call from a listener.

Check out Vince this Friday in Davis at the Comedy House, and be on the lookout in March for SBNation’s Youtube channel launch with Matt Ufford. [On that note, check out our new "Events" page - FilmDrunk.com/Events]

DRUNK ON! – Adam

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Not only is this headline amazing, in the picture it looks like old sweater vest is holding a couple of dicks.

MORNING LINKS
Alison Brie And Danny Pudi Perform ‘Everybody Dance Now’ To Close Out ‘Community’ Season 3 Filming |UPROXX|

5 Things Tim Schafer Needs to do To Make His Fan-Funded Adventure Game Truly Great|Gamma Squad|

Frotcast 87: Porn’s Seymore Butts answers your questions, plus, Penn Jillette calls Lindy a c*nt. |Film Drunk|

Chris Brown Vs. Seagulls|Buzzfeed|

Most Slaughterful Metalocalypse|Adult Swim|

TMZ asks the question of our time. Emma Stone or Rooney Mara who would you rather?|FARK|

Hipster Cat Is the Only Dubstep DJ You’ll Ever Need|The FW|

Chris Brown sings about banging her on her new song. |TheSuperficial|

Catsterpiece Classic presents: Downton Tabby. |TheDailyWhat|

7 Movies that would make horrible musicals. |HolyTaco|

10 amazing letters from presidents. |MentalFloss|

Old guy challenge! Who has the talent? |Videogum|

Avengers Artistically Assemble|Unreality|

7 Surprisingly insensitive political ads. |ScreenJunkies|

Wall Street playaz are America’s hottest new financial rap group. |DAPS|

Subscribe to the Frotcast on iTunes. Fan FilmDrunk on Facebook. Follow me on Twitter. Nominate for Comments of the Week.

Wear this medal with honor, I shall.

You probably know Matt Ufford* (pictured above, left) as the former editor of Warming Glow and the originator of Corgi Friday**, but did you know he’s also making it his mission to get sports blog SB Nation to pay him to pet dogs all day? He’s succeeding to some extent, with coverage of dog football, his Westminster Dog Show petting challenge, and now his trip to The Brooklyn Mutt Show 2012, where he also judged the Star Wars and Star Trek dog costume contest.

The Brooklyn Mutt Show was founded in 2010 as a light-hearted response to the more serious shows limited to purebred dogs. Held in the Brooklyn Lyceum, a bath house-turned-art space at the edge of the dog-crazy Park Slope neighborhood, the Mutt Show’s various contests include Best Tail, Best Beard, Most Like Owner, and Best Kisser, and the entry fees benefit animal-friendly charities: Sean Casey Animal Rescue and the Wild Bird Fund. But let’s get to the crux of the matter: dogs in Star Wars and Star Trek costumes. [BRING BACK MATT!]

Indeed. Matt’s video from the show is after the break along with over 30 pictures of dogs dressed as Star Wars and Star Trek characters. The first two pictures are from the show, and the rest were selected from our extensive collection.

* BRING BACK MATT!

** I accidentally spelled Corgi as Corgit, and now I want to invent an app called Corgit which automatically adds Corgi pictures to all .pdf documents.

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